Last week, I met with my friends in Room 102 to talk about revision. Revision is when writers look again at what they’ve written. They ask themselves lots of questions, like:
What do I like about my story?
What things does my story make wonder?
Can I add juicier words in some places?
Are there any details I can add to really make my writing shine?
They also ask for feedback from their friends, write it down, and think about it. Quite often, feedback from friends helps to make your story even stronger.
So, this is what we did together!
We started with the rough draft of a short story called Ruby and Her Cuzzins.
We talked about how the revision step focuses on improvements, adjustments, polishing up, and adding creative details into the rough draft. (We noticed that there were some spelling corrections to make, but we agreed to wait until the end when we could edit or proofread our final draft.) Revision is all about making our rough draft come to life!
Making Feedback Notes on the Rough Draft
We brainstormed a few details we wanted to see included in the next draft:
After this, we split into pairs to brainstorm some juicy words:
We thought that maybe we could bring some of these words into our story, to show how our characters talked (and make our readers see their different personalities!).
We also decided to really bring that secret forest we liked to life. We used our senses to imagine what it would be like to actually be in that forest along with Ruby…
Then, we put it all together, adding in our new details, ideas, words, and descriptions into our Rough Draft.
It was almost time to go home for the day. I took all of our wonderful work home with me, and typed in our revisions. I was even inspired to build on your feedback and add in a few extra ‘tweaks’. I think you’ll agree that the story is REALLY coming to life because we took the time to do some revision!
I don’t know about you, but I’m getting even more excited about this story now that we’ve done some creative revision. I think there’s even more that we could do to make this story shine. Do you have any other creative ideas? Would you make any more creative changes? This is why I love the revision step!
Thanks again for a terrific and creative session together. Congratulations on your wonderful work!
I was so excited to meet a group of new friends on February 29 – Leap Day! Thank you Room 102 for inviting me to spend the afternoon with you. I am so glad you enjoyed No TV? No Fair!. You asked great questions that really made me think, and had great ideas of your own. I loved how the more we talked, the more we made “les connections” with one another.
A handcrafted gift!
Thank you for the GORGEOUS bouquet of flowers, made with so much creativity and care. I love looking at them! I know that if Chloe was a student in your class, she would have enjoyed designing, crafting and creating right along with you!
Oh! I almost forgot. Do you remember how we talked about how writers don’t just sit down once at their desk, do a little writing, and voila – a book is done? I have a few pictures to prove that’s not the case!
Here’s a picture of my complete, published, finished, as-good-as-it-can-be book Lights! Curtains! Cows! (the one that looks like a book!) beside the book the way it looks printed out once my computer.
Draft copy of Lights! Curtains! Cows! beside final book
And HERE is a picture of that same book beside all the revisions I did to get it into its final shape.
Multiple drafts beside final book
Wow, right? I must have printed it out at least 10 times! And each time, before printing it out, I made changes — again and again! Some changes were HUGE – like taking out whole chapters and writing new ones. Some were small, like changing a few sentences around, or adding or taking out a word here and there. But I really wanted to share the best story I could with readers. I wanted my readers to picture the action, feel the feelings, laugh and be held in suspense like I was in my own head when I imagined the story. Well, that took a lot of tries!
So you can see that no one gets it perfect the first time (or the second, third, fourth time…). Even authors who have published books make a rough draft, then go back again (and again) and change things to make it better and clearer. When a teacher suggests that you might want to make some changes and improvements to something you’ve written, just know that there’s nothing wrong with your writing. In fact by making changes, you’re being a writer!
Well, once again — I enjoyed talking about writing with you (and pickles…and pizza… pineapples…and hockey…and all sorts of things!). Thank you also for being the very first audience for my unpublished adventure story, which just happens to take place on Leap Day. You were a great audience and have given me and my co-author Anita Lebeau lots of inspiration to keep on writing (she loved hearing about Room 102!). We hope to have more to share with you soon.
In the meantime, keep on reading and writing and doing the activities you love and thinking about the things that make you curious.
I’ve been thinking a lot about my young writer and reader friends these days. I know things have been very different for you lately – especially when it comes to school – but I hope that you’re doing well!
As the summer approaches, I’ve been thinking back over the past school year. I haven’t done as many school visits as I have in the past. But one visit was an absolute ‘stand out’ – and that was my surprise visit to the very special Grade 4s of Ecole Margaret-Underhill this past January!
I’ve blogged about this AMAZING school before. It was the very first school – years ago – that I visited with my creative writing program. (In fact, if my calculations are correct, a lot of the students I met in 2012/2013 will be graduating from high school very soon!!) Since then, I’ve had several opportunities to return and have enjoyed the friendships I’ve made with teachers, staff and students.
So I was thrilled when I was contacted about a surprise visit to Room 202 for January! The class was reading NoTV! No Fair. As a surprise, I was asked to come to the class to read the next chapter – and I’m not sure who was more excited, me or the students! We had a great time reading and laughing together. And then came the questions! Students had prepared questions that they were going to send to me as a letter – but their very clever teacher said: “Why don’t we just ask Mme. right now?” ;). I heard some very insightful comments, and had to scratch my head as I fell deep in thought to answer your awesome questions about Chloe, Mark and Mr. Z… We may have only spent half an hour or so together, but I won’t forget it!
After ‘secret visit #1’ I then headed off to two other grade four classes. I had a chance to read from Frostbite Hotel, and the teacher from Room 206 reminded me that years ago, I read a chapter from Frostbite to his class …before it was published! So, it was pretty cool to be able to read the published version in the very same room. Lots of questions from this ‘crew’ about the life of an author…and I was excited to hear about all the creative and active things you’re into as well!
One last-but-not-least stop to another very special group of grade 4s, many of whom had read No TV? last year as Grade 3s…but wanted to hear it again anyway (thanks – that made me feel pretty great!). We read and laughed and talked over some very creative ideas and thoughts you have. I can tell that this is a group of energetic thinkers with lots of imagination!
Once again, thank you EMU for such a fun visit and for being a bright, standout event in my ‘author life’ in 2020. I hope that you all have a happy, healthy summer!
Amazing Scraphic Art pages based on Frostbite Hotel (so creative, 4C!)
Hello my friends from 4C at R.W. Bobby Bend School!
I received your wonderful – and very bright and colourful – letters about Frostbite Hotel a few weeks ago. I had so much fun reading them and wanted to say a big THANK YOU for all of your comments, suggestions and questions! I enjoyed learning a bit about all the writers, mystery writers, hockey players, artists and video game enthusiasts among you. Also – no – I did not know the total number of metaphors and similes I used in the book, so thank you for that information (and I promise that I tried not to cheat when reading your letters – LOL).
It was exciting to hear that you read my book (and how awesome that your class got so many copies – thank you!). I loved seeing the picture of your wall of art as well – very creative and 3-D in the true Scraphic style.
Back to those letters: in addition to the comments and suggestions, many of you had questions. I’ve tried my best to answer them below. I combined some of your questions if they were similar to each other so you wouldn’t have to read the same thing again and again. (SPOILER ALERT – if you’re not in 4C and haven’t read Frostbite Hotel, some of these answers may reveal story information!)
Here it goes:
How many books have you written? Are you writing any other books?
As of this moment, I have written five books that have been published. I have written other stories, scripts, poems, plays and even songs that I’ve shared with friends and family…or just for me! I am writing two new books right now, one non-fiction (about writing) and a fantasy novel (that’s new for me – but I’m having fun with it).
What’s your favourite book that you’ve written?
Hmmm…that is SUCH a hard question to answer. I enjoyed writing and sharing all my books, but Frostbite Hotel certainly has a special place in my heart. I like the fun story (it makes me think of me and my friends at winter recess time many years ago!) and it’s the book that’s helped connect me to the most readers (like all of you in 4C).
Do you like being an author?
Yes, although it isn’t always easy. My two favourite things about writing books: when the story comes alive and I forget to look at the clock when I write, and sharing stories with readers like you (and hearing from you)!
Why did you put a bully in the book?
I knew that Kirby had to have conflicts to face so that he could try and grow and fall down and get back up again as he went after his goals. Sometimes conflicts happen between people (even though we wish they wouldn’t), and for Kirby, The Bear and his buddies were definitely a source of conflict. Also, as I wrote the story, I realized that Kirby himself and Jeannie aren’t always the best ‘hotel bosses’; sometimes they too are just making their friends do what they want them to do. So, in a way, they have to figure out how to go after their dreams without becoming bullies themselves…
I have thought a lot about The Bear though since writing Frostbite Hotel, like what made him think it was a good idea to boss others around and why he felt he had to be ‘in charge’ of the school yard. I wonder if he might now change his ways seeing how things turned out…What do you think?
Why didn’t Marvin just go around Christmas Orange?
 What a good point! When I wrote that scene, I was thinking about the first few times that I used snow shoes —  if you haven’t practiced that much, they’re not that easy to walk around in, and it’s hard to quickly change direction (especially when you’re running). At least that’s what I found. Maybe Marvin (like me) needs more practice! 🙂 Also, I picture Christmas Orange spinning and spinning in such an out-of-control way, that Marvin can’t move away fast enough.Â
What is your favourite part of the book?
I have lots, actually. I love the cozy opening scene: video games in Kirby’s room while a snow storm howls outside. I love the Magic Monday tradition in Kirby’s class. I love the hockey and snowshoe scenes, and I had fun writing the scene where Kirby pictures a ninja creeping across the school ground and starts thinking about a spy…Also, the scene where Jeannie squirts the boys with her ginormous soaker squirter. (I wasn’t even planning to add that – Jeannie was just going to chase Marvin and Kirby, then all of a sudden as I was writing I saw the garage door open and Jeannie with the huge soaker…I had to add it in! LOL).
Well – I think I just mentioned almost everything in the book! I guess I must enjoy writing…
Will you write a Frostbite Hotel 2?
I haven’t yet written a book that has a sequel, but I have a few ideas that might just work for a ‘Frostbite Hotel 2’. I would definitely have to spend some more time working out the details, though…I guess we’ll see!
Thanks again 4C for your letters and questions. I hope I answered everything!
I also hope that you’re finding a good balance between school work, creative fun, and family time these days.
This past February, I had a two-week residency, the longest of the year, at the wonderful R.F. Morrison school. It’s a place I’ve had the pleasure of visiting many times over the years, and to which I have many personal connections. I was lucky to work with teachers who I’ve come to know quite well – add to that very welcoming students and it was like ‘coming home’ in a number of ways!
I was invited to spend two weeks with Grades 4-6 students during I Love to Read month, which is always a major event for this school community. There are challenges, decorations, games, prizes, quizzes, and special reader guests all month long — all celebrating books and stories. So, focusing on writing during this special month was very fitting, and I was honoured to be a part of the celebration!
Connecting ourselves to our story ideas…
We explored the writing process from start to finish – from searching our own hearts and minds for what we care about, to creating characters, to building story worlds, making storyboards, and on to diving into that first draft and adding in more impact with vivid, sparkling language. Many students continued to work on their stories during breaks, computer time, indoor recesses (it was COLD out there!) and even at home. I love when that happens! 🙂
Character web – exploding with your terrific suggestions
During this especially ‘frosty’ February, I was thrilled to connect with a classroom who had not only read Frostbite Hotel together, but who did a fascinating project connected to the book. Each student created a special cereal box with a highly original Frostbite Hotel theme. On each box there was dazzling artwork in ‘chilly’ colours, ‘ingredients’ from the book (like the characters from the book!), games (mazes, crosswords, etc.) that connected to the story, even fabulous Frostbite Hotel inspired prizes. I hope you enjoyed making those boxes as much as I enjoyed looking at each and every one – they were truly amazing!
Those wonderful words with IMPACT!
As we all look forward to some summer fun, I hope you all look back at our frosty February together with a smile on your face, and maybe a few new ideas about writing in your very imaginative minds.
I know I will always remember your creativity (and ‘cousin Biff’!)
Thank you, everyone at R.F.Morrison, for having me back this year, for working so hard, and for embracing reading and writing in such an inspiring way!
My senses still spark when I read your creative revisions to this simple story!
I was very fortunate to be invited back a second time to the wonderful, welcoming and enthusiastic Ecole Bobby Bend this past school year! In 2017 I worked with the Grade 4s on getting started when it comes to creative writing. This year, we looked at the end stages of the writing process – doing creative revisions.
Teachers often tell me that ‘doing revision’ is the hardest part of the writing process to teach. Writers often tell me this is the hardest part of the job, too! I know what they mean. After all the hard work it takes to brainspark an idea, create characters and a rich story world, plan your story, and then write a first draft, it’s tough to think you haven’t yet reached the end…
Hmmm…wish my kitchen was like that right now
That’s why I was SO proud to watch as you patiently worked through everything we talked about to take your writing from good to grrrrrreat!: showing more than you tell, choosing vivid words, using the five senses to inspire your writing, sharing and receiving feedback…That’s a lot to practice (and so much more than just ‘fixing mistakes’ which is what people sometimes think revision means)!
But what I hope you learned is that even though revision is tough, it’s your chance as an author to look again, to make your writing shine, and to bring your stories to life so that others can see, hear and feel what you’ve imagined! In other words, it can be a very fun, creative and rewarding step of the process, too.
Thanks you for one of the most memorable weeks of my ‘school year’ – as well as the lovely card and Timmy’s gift certificate (put to good use!). Have a happy summer full of activities that you enjoy (perhaps including some reading and creative writing!)
The amazing Grade 3s of Room 211 offered wonderful feedback on a rough draft I shared with them, a very short story called “Ruby and the Ball”. Now, I know I told you wonderful writers that I would try to revise this story using your ideas. However, I find myself suddenly very busy with another huge writing project leaving me very little extra time (eep!).
But I did want to take the time to say thank you! You all helped me to see what was already working in my little story by telling me what you liked. Then came your imaginative suggestions for improvement! These included adding names and ages to the existing characters, adding more action, putting in a plot twist, bringing in the parents as important characters, describing the forest with more intriguing details (a path, a gate)…maybe even taking the whole story in a new and exciting science fiction direction! I mean, wow! So much to think about and so many ways the story could go…
So, thank you for helping me to see the possibilities in this story, just like I saw so many possibilities in your own creative stories, characters, story worlds and ideas. (And hey – if you want to rewrite the Ruby story using your own great ideas, that would be amazing – let me know how it goes!)
Thanks again Room 211 for a great time, and the warm welcome before each and every session (I felt like part of your class!):
The handwritten sign that greeted me – look how welcoming these students are
I had the privilege of working for two whole weeks with the Grade 3 and 4 students and teachers at Ecole Riviere Rouge in Seven Oaks School Division. What a welcoming, friendly and enthusiastic school community!
Together we explored steps in the creative writing process, tried out some activities to keep our creative juices flowing, and even worked at revising our work to take it from good to great.
Remember how it all started in our first week together? We asked ourselves what is was we enjoyed doing and what we dreamed of one day doing or becoming. From there, we brainsparked a fictional character – someone we could easily get to know because he or she was connected in some way to our own interests and dreams…
I don’t have photos of our storyboards (probably because we were so busy working on them to stop to pose for a picture!), but it was amazing to watch as you went from having one fictional character to having a plan for an entire story, start to finish. Some of you kept working on that story, while others were inspired to start something new. Either way, going through these steps together got each of us where we needed to go! 🙂
When I returned in April for Week 2, the focus for the Grade 3s turned to strategies to keep our creativity sparking. I was impressed and inspired by the wealth of ideas that were generated. Whether we were looking at interesting objects with ‘wondering’ minds, imagining storyworlds with our 5 senses, playing charades, or listening to music and picturing a trio of cats playing music at a jazz club, we were practicing creative writing. That might sound funny…until you remember that writing isn’t just about putting pencil to paper – it’s about dreaming, planning, wondering, sharing ideas with others, keeping our minds open to the possibilities around us, and trying new things out!
With the Grade 4s, we plunged into creative revisions and practiced techniques for writing with impact. I have to say ‘way to go’ to you all. You did a great job beginning the creative revision process. In my opinion, revision is one of the most important – and hardest – things an author has to do. But you were willing to look at your own work and reflect on how to make it stronger. That takes maturity, patience, and focus. Keep at it and once again, way to go!
Oh – and because this came up a few times in several classes, here’s a photo of my dog Storm (he’s one of the ‘people’ to whom I dedicated my book “Frostbite Hotel”):
He’s a sweet, gentle, miniature long-haired dachshund (a.k.a. a wiener dog). He says ‘hi!’ (or “woof”, I suppose…)
…and just because this is cute, take a look at this:
Stormy in a Santa hat
Enjoy the rest of the school year, everyone. Work hard, be creative, and keep on helping each other!
I was so fortunate to join four Grade 4/5 classes at Ecole Belmont for several writing workshops. We started with a couple of sessions each…and we enjoyed our time together so much, we added a few more (it was a treat for me to see you all so soon – thanks for inviting me back!). You had a lot of questions about writing – great questions that really made me think! You also had many wonderful insights about writing from your own experiences. I can tell that you all read and write a lot at Belmont…and at home, too. That’s great and I hope you keep it up!
Besides ‘talking shop’, we searched our hearts and minds for concepts we cared about and knew about to inspire our writing. We brainstormed characters, worked through a few strategies for writing with impact, and even practiced revisions on a rough draft together. Some of us further explored our characters’ story worlds, and even made plans for stories on storyboards. Several students began drafting their stories, while others continued to dream and plan. It’s all part of the process, and it was fun for me to see it all in motion…
Meeting such friendly, enthusiastic and creative students – and teachers – was an absolute highlight. I was also impressed by a willingness among many of you to go back to your ideas and dig a little deeper, or to review your writing and rewrite – exploring other ways to describe a scene or set up your all-important opening moment. It’s great to overflow with ideas, but when you’re willing to keep working at them and to polish and refine your work, that’s where things really come to life.
Another neat ‘moment’ I just have to mention – when several writers at a table ‘became’ their characters as they worked, talking and acting as though they were the heroes from their stories. I even joined in for a bit as Dylan from Mermaid Warrior Squad. I loved seeing this happen because, really, this is what you need to do when you write – ‘become’ your character(s) so that you understand and experience the world from their point of view. I find it helps in my own writing, and I was thrilled to watch you discover the ‘acting technique’ for yourselves!
I hope you all learned some creative writing approaches and strategies, and discovered some of the joy that writing and sharing your stories can bring.
Imagine my delight when I checked the mailbox at the beginning of summer holidays. Waiting for me was not one but two incredible collections of original stories by the writers of 4B from Ecole Bobby Bend. WOW! (Check out the cover designs, and artwork, too!)
I flipped through the books eagerly, and started reading… you all did such a great job!
Remember when your stories began with a web? In fact, here are the webs we brainsparked on our very first day together:
Well… you’ve sure come a long way and have turned those first sparks into finished stories. WAY TO GO! Thank you for sharing with me, and for the great honour of acknowledging me on the cover, too. It’s very special to me!
I popped a thank you card in the mail addressed to your 4B teacher. However, knowing that you will all be starting new adventures in Grade 5 and won’t be in the same classroom, I decided to share what I wrote in the card below, too:
Thank you for sharing your two marvelous story collections with me! I received them in the mail at the beginning of summer – what a wonderful gift! I’ve enjoyed all your stories. They had humour, mystery, suspense, and terrific characters. Each one started with a ‘hook’ that drew me right into the action. You all worked very hard and should be proud of every step. I’m proud of you, too!
Congratulations, thank you, and keep on reading and writing!
